Book Club: Review of Parenting Beyond the Rules

 

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from the publisher in return for my honest opinion. All thoughts and opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links. For more information please see my Terms of Use and Disclosure Policy page. Thank you.

I am the stepmom to a teenage son. Sometimes life gets complicated because we are homeschooling, he has two younger siblings, and I am a stepparent. Having the opportunity to review Parenting Beyond the Rules by Connie Albers (published by NavPress in alliance with Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.) was a blessing for our family. While I was a high school teacher, parenting a teen is different than teaching one for 45 minutes a day, five days a week. It was great to read Albers' book and discover that I am parenting beyond the rules and doing a good job of it.

Connie Albers is a speaker and writer who has spent over 20 years working with teens. "Her practical content inspires and equips parents in the trenches" (book cover). Parenting Beyond the Rules is full of her experiences and the experiences of others to provide first-hand accounts of the difficult teen years and problems that might creep up.

"The teen years shouldn't be something we just try to survive." 

One of the most important takeaways from Parenting Beyond the Rules is that relationships between teens and parents are so important. As parents, we need to pay special attention to our relationships and invest time and value into building them, nurturing them, and maintaining those relationships. As Albers states: "If you are reading this book, then you likely desire to build a strong family and cultivate healthy relationships" (15).

There are twelve chapters, a foreword, an introduction, an epilogue, and resources comprising a total of 219 pages in Parenting Beyond the Rules for practical advice to parents of teens. Each chapter presents real world examples, biblical references, and a "Wrapping It Up" section at the end (questions for the reader to reflect upon what they have read). Personally, I enjoy books like this that maintain a similar set up from chapter to chapter. This makes it easy to read and find exactly what may help your family at that moment – setting family goals, looking for strengths and weaknesses, or tackling tough topics.

While reading Parenting Beyond the Rules, I found myself taking many notes. The ideas that jumped out at me as a parent of a teen included the need to spend time with our kids, create an environment of grace, and model repentance. As parents we should model Christlike behaviors and show love in little ways as well as show love that has no strings attached. I also appreciated the reminder that our children watch how we handle difficult responsibilities (like taking care of are aging parents) and learn from us.

There is so much wonderful advice in Parenting Beyond the Rules that I recommend—if you are a parent—you pick up a copy to see what words of wisdom you can find for yourself! If you are in need of a practical 'handbook' to help you raise your teens with God in mind, then Parenting Beyond the Rules might the perfect book for you to read. Raising teens does not need to be so difficult and "children are your most important ministry" (85).

Do you want to learn more about Parenting Beyond the Rules and Connie Albers? 

Author Website

A Gift Guide When Shopping for Teenage Boys

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Shopping for others can be somewhat daunting and challenging. As our own children get older – or those in our family grow up, it can be difficult to pick out the perfect gift they will love and use – especially if they are a teenage boy.

What is your go-to gift for a teen boy? Do you ask the teen? Sometimes it might be easy because the parents will tell us they are saving up for something – a new gaming platform, sporting equipment, or a concert or trip. Other times they might even have an online wishlist. But what if they don't make it easy?

For the Gamer

The one thing our teen seems to go through is Xbox controllers. Perhaps you know of a young man who is also hard on their gaming controller? If it is within your budget you could purchase a new controller or a gift card to go towards a new one. They even make custom ones.

Headsets are a great option for teens who are allowed to play online games with their friends and family. And just like controllers, they often break and need to be replaced.

If the teenage boy has a favorite video game series, you can bet there are product tie-ins. For example, our son has a Destiny watch and socks. Other gaming series that sell merchandise include Fallout, Minecraft, and Bioshock.

For the Reader

Depending on whether or not your teen enjoys reading, you may or may not find our suggestions helpful. We have struggled for many years trying to find books that our teen enjoys to read for fun. While he liked the Harry Potter series, he wasn't reading them nonstop to find out what happened to Harry and his friends. However, he does enjoy Star Wars comics and reading books about World War II. This recommended reading list has been my husband's go-to list since he was a teen himself. We have provided several suggestions from it for our teen son.

Comics are also a great choice – I recommend finding your local comic book store and supporting them. We are fortunate enough to have one in our town.

 

 For the Sports Enthusiast

To go along with the gaming theme, you could get a custom Xbox controller if your teen is into the NFL. And of course clothing is always a great idea when it comes to buying gifts for growing teens. From t-shirts and hoodies to jerseys and hats, there is such a variety of items available for any sports fan to wear to show their team pride. There are also fun items like Fathead decals or a tabletop foosball table.

Other Fun Ideas

One thing our teen can't seem to get enough of is candy. We don't buy it for him often – usually just the holidays – so candy would be a great gift idea. Even snacks you ordinarily wouldn't buy make for a great gift (and are perfect for snacking during the winter break!).

For the artist, new sketchpads, art pencils and pens, or other drawing materials is a great idea. For the musician, maybe a new case for their instrument or music by their favorite band.

Do your teens have a favorite gift they have received?

Wordless Wednesday (Mostly Wordless) - Ice Hockey Championship

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My stepson when he was playing before his concussion. 

Smooth sheet of ice for the teams.

The teams lined up at center ice for the singing of the National Anthem.

My stepson wasn't playing because he was only recently given the okay after his concussion.

  

I linked up to the following blog(s):

Book Club: A Review of Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis

I received this electronic copy of this book for free from the author in return for my honest opinion. All thoughts and opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links. For more information, please see my Terms of Use and Disclosure Policy page. Thank you.

Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis by Patty Scott is a wonderful resource for parents of not only teens but also younger children as they prepare for those teen years.

The book focuses upon several “C” words – cause, control, counterbalance, consequences, contribute, choices, connected, and community. Each chapter lays out advice for a parent who may or may not have a teen whose life is chaotic or in crisis. For example, even though we are not dealing with extreme problems with our teen, I can still see how the ideas and advice shared by Scott will help me be a better parent to my 15 year old stepson. Fortunately, the most difficult problems or concerns we have with our teen are his forgetfulness to do what he needs to do before he does the things he wants to do and a slump in his grades in school.

Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis says “You Won’t Control Them” so we need to try to influence our teens to make the best decisions. Part of parenting a teen, as suggested by Scott, is to allow natural consequences. Our teen has missed the honor roll at school and not liked how he felt so we are praying that he will learn from the past outcome and make better choices.

Two of the most important things I am taking away from my first reading of Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis (and I do plan on reading it more than once) is the importance of community as a parent and saying goodbye to mom guilt. In the very first chapter, "You Didn’t Cause It," Scott tells the readers “to let go of guilt and know your child has choices to make on their own.” So many moms hold onto this ‘mom guilt’ and we need to realize we can let it go. As Scott says, “guilt serves no one” (48). She also writes that we can seek community through God, moms of teens, parents of grown children, and others to help in journey.

 

Parenting Your Teen Through Chaos & Crisis closes with a prayer for you, the reader, and your teen. The book also provides information how to reach the author through her blog, email, and Facebook group (The Intentional Motherhood Community) as well as information on how to have Scott speak at your church.

I would recommend Scott’s book to parents of teen along with parents of younger children because the advice is great for a multitude of ages. I think those individuals who work with teens could also benefit from the advice presented by Scott.

You can read more from Patty Scott in her post: How to Release Guilt so You Can Focus on Raising Your Teenager. 

Birthday Party: Swords and Wizardry Light

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For our teen's 15th birthday, we held a Swords and Wizardry Light-themed party.

Here is the link to my Pinterest Board: Party Ideas: Dungeons and Dragons Birthday.

Food 

Azer's Chili

I made a slow cooker freezer meal of Texas Chili for this dish.

Roc Nachos (Chicken Nachos)

For these I used the following ingredients and cooked on high for 3 to 4 hours.  After about 4 hours, I shredded the chicken and put out the nachos.

• 2 large, boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• about 1/2 cup of frozen corn (you can add more or less depending on your taste)
• 2 cans of drained black beans
• 2 cans of crushed tomatoes (one drained)
• 2 TBSP of taco seasoning 
• dash of salt & pepper for taste
• dash of garlic power 

Treant's Broccoli Alfredo Pasta 

I cooked the broccoli on the stove top separately and then added it to the slow cooker with the sauce. I kept the pasta separate so it would not get too mushy.

Dragon Eggs 

Hard boiled eggs dyed different colors.

Bullywug's Jello

I used blue jello and put in gummy frogs and candy eyes (which melted during the setting process). I decorated the top with the frogs and eyes (and the eyes melted again). I would recommend saving the candy eyes for cookies or cupcakes. If our local candy store had gummy eyes, I would have used them instead.

Elemental Cupcakes, Brownies, & Cookies 

I made red and blue cupcakes to represent fire and water, baked brownies for earth, and sugar cookies for air.

Drinks 

I labeled the different drinks with Mana, Health, Potion of Strength and Fire Resistance to continue to theme. 

Role Playing 

Prior to the birthday party, my husband and I created over a dozen player characters from which our guests could choose to partake in the adventure. We used Wizardawn to help us generate ideas for names and characters as well as Gary Gygax's Extraordinary Book of Names by Malcolm Bowers.

My husband ran the actual adventure while I kept everything else running smoothly and entertained the adults and children who were not participating. My husband wrote about Rustam Riverhooper's Birthday Celebration on his own blog.

Party Favors

We picked up the two types of dice the children would need during the Swords and Wizardry Light game: six-sided and twenty-sided.

Decorations

We used a variety of items to decorate the house for our teen's birthday party from Dollar Store and Spirit Halloween costume items to actual Dungeons and Dragons miniatures.

Halloween Decorations

We used scene setters in the kitchen, dining room, and bathroom. I decorated the table in the kitchen to look like a treasure room with beads hanging from the chandelier and coins and beads scattered on the table.

Scattered throughout the house were rubber and plastic mice, plastic bats hanging at the door, and bones and skulls. We also made a pole axe and trident as well as stained glass windows to help create the effect.

The littles helped decorate by coloring in different people such as a magic-user, druid, fighter, and halfling.

The party was a success with my stepson and his friends.  They had a great time with the adventure and got to use their imagination to solve the problems my husband set forth for them in the story.

I received the Wiz Dice Random Bundle last year and was not disappointed.  

Star Wars Birthday Party

My 14 year old step-son has known he wanted a Stars Wars themed birthday party (for the second year in a row) since he saw The Force Awakens in the theater.  He has been a fan of Stars Wars forever thanks to his dad, my husband. For multiple Halloweens he has dressed up as Storm Troopers, Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Jango and Boba Fett. Our family is also comprised of avid gamers, so using the Star Wars role playing game as part of this party was an obvious choice for my husband and me.

Here is my Star Wars Party Ideas Pinterest board. A lot of the links included in this blog can also be found on that board.

Decorations 

Over the past several years, we have collected together a number of decorations appropriate for a Star Wars party.

Printables from the Internet
Giant list of free Star Wars themed printables

Star Wars Coloring Pages (A lot to choose from, including Episodes 1-3)

Star Wars Party Pack (If my step-son was younger, we would have definitely used the Jedi Completion Certificate.)

Star Wars Coloring Pages from Blessed Beyond a Doubt (I printed out several of these and colored them in for wall decorations. As well as printed some for my toddler to color.)

Star Wars Inspired Coloring Pages (I used several of these pages. They also made for great stencils due to their simplicity.)

Star Wars Kid Coloring Pages (I also found a few pages here that we could use.)

Star Wars Printable Pack (I used some of the activities in these pages to help keep my two little ones amused during the party.)

X-Wing Fighter and Tie Fighter

These were both fun projects I did with the kids.

The X-Wing Fighter I saw on 30 Star Wars Crafts and Activities and thought it would be a great prop for outside. My three year old and I painted multiple toilet paper and paper towel rolls, and pieces of cardboard to create the ship. I taped it together with duct tape and electrical tape.  We added craft sticks to create the final part of the wings.

Last year my teen and I used paper-mache to create the Tie Fighter body.  Originally it was supposed to be a death star pinata but it did not dry in time.  So this year, I modified the idea after finding Tie Fighter Pinata and my three year old and I painted the body and wings.

Neither looked perfect but we had a lot of fun creating them.

I bent the front of the paper towel rolls down and taped them to create the front of the ship. 

Happy 14th Birthday!

I used my step-son's LEGO blocks and Star Wars characters to create a 14 to display on the table.
I was originally inspired by this 7th Star Wars Birthday Image and this idea of Star Wars Lego Specimen Art.

Signs and Pictures

I saw this Hans Image on Pinterest and knew we needed to print it out for the bathroom.  My husband loves puns.

My toddler helped paint the circle for the Death Star and I helped him paint the lines and circle. 

 We used a dollar store calendar to help decorate as well as some pictures my two littles colored.

Light sabers 

I used large (necklace size) and small (bracelet size) glow sticks to create light sabers for the boys.  I taped some duct tape on the end and then drew designs on them for handles. 

Photo Opportunities 

My husband had Boba Fett and Chewbacca (a different version) from a birthday party of my step-sons during elementary school.  This year we were fortunate to add Han Solo to the mix.

Last year, I took a black plastic tablecloth and glued confetti stars to it, to create a backdrop for photographs outside.

We also used scene setters to help decorate the dining room.

 

Food 

Bespin Beef Burritos
A very easy to prepare recipe from one of my favorite books (Freezer Pleasers Cookbook).  Each burrito can be individually wrapped and frozen to be reheated as needed.

Hoth's Peanut Butter Cups
My teen loves peanut butter items, so I thought the Frosty Peanut Butter Cups (also from - Freezer Pleasers Cookbook) would be a perfect fit for the party's treats.

Death Star Rice Treats
I used the standard rice treat recipe on the box and then added a few drops of black dye.  Using a plastic baggie, I shaped them loosely into Death Stars while they were still warm.

Vader Veggie Platter and Droid Dip
The boys thoroughly enjoyed the veggie platter.  In fact, I had to refill it for them.

Teddy Grahams
These were our Ewoks.

Star Wars themed Cheez-Its

Stars Wars themed cereal

Cake

My husband and I made a BB-8 inspired cake.  I used Pillsbury Funfetti Orange All Star Cake Mix, a chocolate fudge peanut butter cookie, a miniature Oreo cookie, silver sprinkles and yellow and orange Reese's Pieces,
Unfortunately, during the preparation of the first batch, I mixed in too much water so that had to be discarded.  My husband traveled to two different stores to find me another package.

The leftovers after we trimmed one of the cakes.  We used a bowl (from IKEA) to trim BB-8's head to the right size. and then cut off a portion so it would fit along the neck properly.

We attached a small piece of leftover cake for his antennae and than iced it with regular vanilla flavored icing.

Our completed BB-8 cake. 

Light Saber Cupcakes 

I made cupcakes and decorated them to create a green and blue light saber.

We had a selection of sodas, as well as "Luke Skywater" and "Jedi Juice" for the boys to enjoy.

Some of the desserts included Hoth's Peanut Butter Cups and Death Star Rice Treats.

Activities

My step-son and his two friends jumped into the main activity for the afternoon: Star Wars role-playing.

My husband ran the second part of the Adventure Book from the Star Wars Introductory Adventure Game box set. This year, though, he fast-forwarded the timeline to that of Episode VIII: The Force Awakens. The players were Resistance members trying to flee Alak (substitute name for Edan Base) from attack by The First Order. 

My step-son played a "Young Jedi" character. He and the local freedom fighters blew up a fuel pod near a First Order landing pad. The First Order was taking prisoners from local farms and sending them to who-knows-where. After the fuel pod set off other pods and crumpled the landing pad into slag and ash, he nearly got lit up by stormtroopers who were previously preparing to send the prisoners up the ramp to the pad for transfer via an incoming Lambda shuttle. The shuttle left the scene after its landing area was compromised. My step-son's friends piloted a salvaged Y-wing and blasted the base's AT-ST and 2 speeders patrolling the base just before they made paste of my step-son, his Resistance contact, and the other freedom fighters. 

For more information please see The Rancor Pit which is a forum for those interested in the Star Wars D6 role-playing game which was in print from 1987-1999.  There is also a quite active Google+ group: Star Wars D6 Community. 

Supplies

We used Star Wars dessert plates, napkins, pencils, and candles but also supplemented with black plates, white and red utensils, and green napkins from other parties.