Book Club: Book Review of How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk

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Parenting can be difficult at times, so having access to good resources is important. Many parents struggle with talking with their children and having their children talk to them. In Becky Harling's newest book, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, parents will find many tips on how to improve communicating with their children. While reading Harling's book, I have found many points to underline and discuss with my husband. 

What is the book about? 

In this 160-page paperback book, parents will read ten chapters that will help them "deepen your connection and strengthen their confidence" so that kids will talk to them. Each chapter is broken down into segments that make it very easy to navigate and read exactly what you want on any given day. Each chapter is set up in a similar manner, with useful information to become good listeners and then wisdom tools for parents. The wisdom tools contains three parts: 

• Wisdom from God
• Wisdom for self-care
• Wisdom for the ages where Harling provides advice for parents of preschoolers, grade-schoolers, tweens, and teens 

The chapters also contain a sample prayer that you can pray so that you can work on becoming a better listener. In some cases, the prayers have blank spots so you can insert the name of your child or children. 

Many of the topics, such as "Help Them Find their Feelings", offer personal stories of the author, questions to ask, and Scripture verses to find where God experiences the full range of emotions so we can expect our children to do so, too. Harling also states: "Remind yourself that even when life is complicated, you are the parent and God will equip you to handle whatever situation He allows in your life" (63). I can think of many instances where we, as parents, can apply this reminder. 

What do I think about How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk? 

I have found Harling's book to be very useful. There were many occasions where I made notations or underlined sentences so that I could reflect upon the author's points and thoughts. Not only did How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk provide tips for parenting my own children, but I also reflected upon my own childhood while reading through such chapters as "Listen to Empower Good Decision-Making Skills." 

I liked the fact that Harling is advising us to raise children who will be strong and confident. We want our children to "know who they are and what they believe" (97). This can apply to their clothing choices (as long as the clothing is appropriate), as well as their faith. We want our children to make wise choices, and thus we have to offer them many choices and allow them to doubt. We can provide them with the opportunities to question and learn more and thus listen to them talk. 

"One of the greatest gifts you will ever give your child is praying for him and teaching him how to pray" (139). 

One of my favorite takeaways from How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk is that God is the Father who will cross the distance to reach us and our children. As I read through the early books of the Bible in my Bible Study, it is evident that everything Harling states about God is true. "He hears the faintest whisper of your child's heart. He sees the tears he cries in the night" (139). 

I would recommend How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk to parents who are interested in strengthening their relationships with their children. Good communication is key in good parenting, and this book provides many thoughtful questions and good tips on how to open the lines of communication with our children. It doesn't matter if your children are in preschool, grade school, or high school; you will find practical advice to help you as a parent.