There are some books that are so powerful and moving that I read the inspiring words through tears in my eyes. In Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss, I found the words and wisdom that I wish were shared with me when I suffered a miscarriage before our youngest son was born. Rachel Lewis has shared her own stories of pregnancy loss as well as the stories of others to help moms and dads find the encouragement they need.
"What to expect when you are no longer expecting."
No matter where your loss falls – early to late miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss – Lewis tries to present useful information for you and your journey. In four parts, she goes over loss lamentations, love, and legacies. In each part, Lewis leaves readers with journal prompts for those who need to work out their loss on paper. One could easily skip from section to section as you seek the knowledge you need most at your time.
Rachel Lewis asks us to join her on this journey and offers love to us and our baby or babies. The book is written from a place of love in an attempt to comfort parents in the most difficult of circumstances. And while she opens her own heart, throughout Unexpecting, we read personal experiences from other moms and dads, too. There was more than one experience that resonated with me during the reading of the book.
"You get to grieve however you need."
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to grief presented in Unexpecting. Everyone's loss is different, and everyone approaches their grief differently. We have choices to make after our loss as our bodies, our spirits, and our minds need time to heal. We must work out our own grief triggers and decide when and how we will face those triggers. No one knows our journey better than we do, but it is so helpful to read that we are not alone on that path.
Some of the specific things Lewis writes about include:
- Needing to care for a postpartum body without a baby
- Facing a myriad of emotions such as jealousy, betrayal, guilt, and joy
- Seeking help if grief becomes depression
- Finding comfort in God or the Bible when suffering
- Helping your other children grieve
- Finding the new life you will lead
- Pregnancy after loss
- The decision to try or not to try again
- Creating a legacy
I found Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss to be a wonderful book to read. One of the parts I felt the most connected to was in the very introduction. People often see the loss as just losing a baby. But Lewis writes you lost: