Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Book Club: Book Review of Unexpecting

A Mom's Quest to Teach: Book Club: Book Review of Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss with floral background


I received a COMPLIMENTARY copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion. I was not required to write a positive review, nor was I compensated in any other way. This post contains affiliate links. For more information, please see my Terms of Use and Disclosure Policy page. Thank you.

There are some books that are so powerful and moving that I read the inspiring words through tears in my eyes. In Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss, I found the words and wisdom that I wish were shared with me when I suffered a miscarriage before our youngest son was born. Rachel Lewis has shared her own stories of pregnancy loss as well as the stories of others to help moms and dads find the encouragement they need. 


"What to expect when you are no longer expecting." 


No matter where your loss falls – early to late miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss – Lewis tries to present useful information for you and your journey. In four parts, she goes over loss lamentations, love, and legacies. In each part, Lewis leaves readers with journal prompts for those who need to work out their loss on paper. One could easily skip from section to section as you seek the knowledge you need most at your time.

Rachel Lewis asks us to join her on this journey and offers love to us and our baby or babies. The book is written from a place of love in an attempt to comfort parents in the most difficult of circumstances. And while she opens her own heart, throughout Unexpecting, we read personal experiences from other moms and dads, too. There was more than one experience that resonated with me during the reading of the book.

A Mom's Quest to Teach: Book Club: Book Review of Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss with book cover


"You get to grieve however you need." 


There is no one-size-fits-all approach to grief presented in Unexpecting. Everyone's loss is different, and everyone approaches their grief differently. We have choices to make after our loss as our bodies, our spirits, and our minds need time to heal. We must work out our own grief triggers and decide when and how we will face those triggers. No one knows our journey better than we do, but it is so helpful to read that we are not alone on that path. 

Some of the specific things Lewis writes about include: 

  • Needing to care for a postpartum body without a baby 
  • Facing a myriad of emotions such as jealousy, betrayal, guilt, and joy 
  • Seeking help if grief becomes depression 
  • Finding comfort in God or the Bible when suffering 
  • Helping your other children grieve
  • Finding the new life you will lead
  • Pregnancy after loss
  • The decision to try or not to try again 
  • Creating a legacy  

My Thoughts 


I found Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss to be a wonderful book to read. One of the parts I felt the most connected to was in the very introduction. People often see the loss as just losing a baby. But Lewis writes you lost: 

"Your daughter's first smile.
The first time your son rolled over. 
The look on your sweet girl's face when you soothe her tears."

And so much more. 

"A whole generation, a whole lifetime of memories – gone the instant your baby's heart stopped beating" (13-14). This is the way I still feel all those years later. Whenever my due date rolls around, I wonder what our child would be like and enjoy doing. Would he or she like Minecraft like the rest of our children? What would our child look like? 

There are many points that hit home with me from Lewis' book. I think many parents – moms and dads (there is a section just for dads) – will find Unexpecting to be very helpful to endure their loss or losses. I would recommend this book to those who have suffered a loss or know someone who has. It can help those on the journey and those who walk alongside individuals on the loss journey.


A Mom's Quest to Teach: Book Club: Book Review of Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss - quoting "Maybe you are more compassionate about other people's suffering" with book cover


3 comments:

  1. What an important topic to address. Another topic that would help is the family and friends. What helps, what doesn't. It is a loss in the family and often people don't know how to help the parents and either say the wrong thing or stand back because they don't want to say or do the wrong thing.

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    1. There were actually sections on how we can see people's well-meaning attempts to offer comfort as what they are rather (saying the wrong thing but not trying to be hurtful) than mean or cruel statements. Sadly, too many in my own family merely ignored my loss and felt I should still participate in the Christmas holidays.

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  2. The book has been sitting on my desk for at least a month now and I've been hesitant to read it as our baby's due date was last week. I've met many people who are part of the 1 in 4 and this book will be good to help comfort others around me who are part of this unfortunate club

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